It is Birthday Time again. On January 20 our Bonnie turns 67.
▼ ❑ Look back at what you and I gave Bonnie on her birthday 5 years ago.
❑ Bonnie says what you Said and Did Changed her Life. She got that she was truly loved
Bonnie wrote:
"Please know that I didn’t have much to say because I was just overwhelmed with the love I was feeling all around me, both geographically and virtually.
Overwhelmed with love is exactly the feeling. During the party, I could feel that little shyness, that little me, that holds back and is unable to accept love. I could feel a “pull back” quite distinctly as I looked around the room and talked with my friends on the conference bridge.
And then it happened. I actually felt the love. Like a big benevolent ocean wave pouring over me and overcoming me so that my little self couldn’t move or resist. I felt all that abundant love coming right through me and washing me out with the sheer acceptance of it. I’ve always wanted to be able to let go and just be with that love. And there it was." Jan 20, 2006
▼ ❑ Bonnie is again dancing at the edge of life again - Bonnie needs a similar but different gift this year.
▼ ❑ Wait, what was that bit about dancing at the edge of life again.
▼ ❑ Seems like Bonnie has been playing Texas Hold'em with the Devil this Christmas and Birthday season.
• ❑ 1st card - Risk of losing sight in left eye and of infection
• ❑ 2nd card - Deep Gash on Christmas
• ❑ 3rd card - Hard Fall on the way to save Bonnie's Left Eye
• ❑ 4th card - Plate and screws for Bonnie's wrist next Tuesday + Ear Nose and Throat Specialist to check Bonnie's CAT scans of cracked sinus bone below her right eye
▼ ❑ The River Card is coming Up.
• ❑ I think Bonnie is in denial about her Cumulative Risks and The Stakes"
• ❑ I ask you "How long until we are "ALL IN " again?"
▼ ❑ Don't let that deal go down. Don't let her Devil play his River Card
• ❑ Bonnie's Devil wears the mask of "Denial" and "Heedlessness" by turns.
Here is what you and I can DO now to try and produce as big a breakthrough this year as we did when Bonnie GOT "a big benevolent ocean wave pouring over me and overcoming me so that my little self couldn’t move or resist. I felt all that abundant love coming right through me and washing me out with the sheer acceptance of it"
▼ ❑ Please Tell Bonnie who she IS for you.
• ❑ Please tell Bonnie what you would lose if she were to die in the next two weeks.
• ❑ Pray that Bonnie gets deeply that she is a part of us all. If she were to die of denial and heedlessness any time soon, we all would be robbed of the human Being that Bonnie is.
/Daniel for BanD
Daniel, thank you for your persistence on Bonnie's behalf. Bonnie we love you. Please take care of yourself! Much love, Rosemary
Posted by: Rosemary remacle | January 18, 2011 at 11:30 PM
Birthday Greetings Bonnie. You are my teacher, my mentor in issues of "living and dying". You set my gold standard for facing things full on and playing full out. (sometimes I think you play too hard) But I learn from it all. Your life is more fragile than you play it. Play hard to stick around. As strong as you are I often feel you good disappear "poof" with one wrong more. Please live into moving slow. Please live a rich full year. Tell me, tell us what you need. I love you, betsy
Posted by: betsy | January 19, 2011 at 08:55 PM
Bonnie, You are an AMAZING and determined person. I stressed the amazing part, because, as Daniel tries to tell you, you have to be careful that your determination doesn't 'come back to BITE you. Ha Ha, sort of funny, yet not. I'm sure that some of your decisions about your abilities come from the lengthy recovery processes you've been facing.
However, in hindsight, I'm also sure that you can see that you aren't always as strong as you'd like to be. You have to take 'tiny steps' forward with your 'tiny feet' so you don't take anymore tumbles.
Hope this gives you at least some smiles, but more thought about how much you rush into things.
We just got about 4" more of snow overnight. It's piled on top of the last 2 storm accumulations. Haven't been snowbound since Ed gets right out and plows out our driveway. He loves to play in the snow.
Have seen that OI has had some snow from time to time. Hard to imagine that.
I'll wait until sometime in February to send a deposit. Will check in to see if you're back at Beach Experience first.
Mary Lou
in Wellsboro, PA
Posted by: Mary Lou Wertz | January 21, 2011 at 05:58 AM
Happy birthday Bonnie. As you know what means so much to me about you has been your persistence re your eyesight. Sooo glad it has paid off!
Posted by: donna | January 21, 2011 at 11:23 PM
as we continue to celebrate the octave of your birthday, I send you more greetings and love. Bonnie, I read what Daniel wrote about your birthday 5 years ago and how you got it that you are passionately and unconditionally loved. OK, if you got it, then why do you refuse to accept love (in the form of help) from Daniel and others? Why do you persist in acting as if you are worthy of God's love only if you keep being self-sufficient and doing everything for yourself even when you end up putting your life at risk? You got this far by determination, no doubt about it. But the next part of your journey calls for the addition of grace. SHOW us that you accept God's love. SHOW us you understand that God loves your limitations! Take good care of your million-dollar-miracle-body in thanksgiving for that love. God surely didn't pull you through all those crises in order for you to kill yourself with a self-inflicted injury! Bonnie, I suffer from the same spiritual malady. I NEED YOU to help me learn how to accept God's love with grace. Please help me! Much love, Margaret
Posted by: Margaret Irwin. | January 24, 2011 at 06:27 AM
Praying you are practicing good self care and surrendering to allowing others to care for you. But I can't say I exactly know what that means. I know you must be all the Bonnie you know how to be. I love you B. from one B to another B
Posted by: betsy | January 29, 2011 at 09:10 PM