It’s been SO long since I last posted on Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Easter has come and will go (for us Episcopalians who celebrate Easter for 7 weeks) this coming Sunday, the last day of our Easter season. I’ve started keeping a daily journal in a program called Optimism where I also record all kinds of numerical data. I have been reluctant to journal for several years because of a concern that if I were journaling, somehow I would lose motivation for blogging. Indeed it happened. I am now resolving NOT to let my daily journaling take away my motivation for blogging. We’ll see.
My time since Ash Wednesday has been mostly magical. These pictures taken off our back porch a week ago is a good metaphor of my time. That was a complete arc of a rainbow, so amazingly beautiful. Complete arcs are rare.
Rainbows come from storm and sun living together in the sky. That is my life. Daniel has written of my new problems with weakness. I’ve now seen three specialists (ENT, sports medicine, neurologist) in addition to the hematologist who serves as my primary care physician. Their answer is all the same: my weakens is the result of the prednizone and there is no alternative for my graft-vs-host condition. When that goes away (sometime in the next 18 months), I won’t need pred and I’ll be better. I’ve come to accept that I will have storm as well as sun in my life. I pray that Daniel will also learn not to be so disturbed during my stormy times. I tend to forget that during the worst of my health events, I was unconscious and so remember nothing, while Daniel was there for every bad moment and every dire prognosis. He lives in fear that it will happen again while I live oblivious to the very real possibility.
At the beginning of this year, when I was on higher doses of pred, I was actually quite energetic. All through Lent I was the energizer bunny: up from 5 or 6 am until midnight and LOVING IT. After a few weeks of 5 to 6 hours of sleep, I began to think I SHOULD be getting more sleep. I did have great fatigue in the last hour before I went to bed, but I loved getting up and working on the book the next morning. Then one day, pow, I felt like sleeping ALL the time. I began to sleep a lot; I still do. Yesterday, Saturday, I got up at 9:30 (after 12 hours of sleep) and went back to bed for a nap from 1 to 5. And I was back asleep from 9:30 last night to 6:30 this morning. I decided I really wanted to go to the 8am church service and so I pulled myself out of bed. I fell again, but was able to get myself off the floor (I needed Daniel’s help after my other falls), and I was off to church, arriving during the reading of Psalms. At 1pm, I’m still energetic.
Lent was so wonderful for me. I committed to going to our Lenten service every Wednesday and I did. I made food for the church (the first time I’ve ever done that except of course for pot luck dinners). My corn/chicken chowder was a big hit at the soup dinner that follows the Lent service. I had a nightly practice of reading Compline (last litany of the day for monks) and doing Ignatius’ Examen. It was a fine nightly ritual that I still follow (mostly). I got my life well organized during Lent, starting to use OmniFOCUS to organize and track all my tasks. I’ve fallen off some of that since Easter too. Amazing how little time one has when you sleep 12 hours instead of 6 each day! So, now I’m looking forward to sleeping EIGHT hours a day and having time for my prayers & meditations, my keep-organized rituals, my personal readings, and time with Daniel.
I have continued to do a lot of gardening and cooking. I went to a plant sale just before Easter and bought TOO MANY herb plants. They look so small when you buy them. I photographed each plant and its description as shown in the picture above), and I'm in the process of building a database. My plants, both from the sale and from the store, took over the screened porch in the back. They were also not thriving there. Daniel insisted that he wanted his porch back. And I figured out that they would do better on the front porch. They definitely are thriving now. Friday we had a faucet and hose put on the deck so I can water more easily (before that Daniel was filling gallon milk jars with water for me). I am set now, and loving it. I use herbs every night in my cooking.
shoes that would actually fit the size of my 6" feet, but could not find anyplace to buy or make them. Daniel remembered a custom shoe maker he met at a Renaissance fair FORTY years ago. He spent a night searching the internet and came up with Sodhoppers, the company who custom makes soft boots. I contacted them and Paul who now owns the business made me these fine boots. I loved them so much, I immediately had to have another pair!
The spiritual retreat I led in April was truly miraculous. I am looking forward to leading many, many more retreats.
Sue, Susan, Mary & Susan, my dearest friends from seminary, will be here on Saturday. The five rockers on the back porch are ready to be well occupied for four days!!
Love to you all,
Bonnie for BanD
My time since Ash Wednesday has been mostly magical. These pictures taken off our back porch a week ago is a good metaphor of my time. That was a complete arc of a rainbow, so amazingly beautiful. Complete arcs are rare.
Sunset on the Rainbow day:
Rainbows come from storm and sun living together in the sky. That is my life. Daniel has written of my new problems with weakness. I’ve now seen three specialists (ENT, sports medicine, neurologist) in addition to the hematologist who serves as my primary care physician. Their answer is all the same: my weakens is the result of the prednizone and there is no alternative for my graft-vs-host condition. When that goes away (sometime in the next 18 months), I won’t need pred and I’ll be better. I’ve come to accept that I will have storm as well as sun in my life. I pray that Daniel will also learn not to be so disturbed during my stormy times. I tend to forget that during the worst of my health events, I was unconscious and so remember nothing, while Daniel was there for every bad moment and every dire prognosis. He lives in fear that it will happen again while I live oblivious to the very real possibility.
At the beginning of this year, when I was on higher doses of pred, I was actually quite energetic. All through Lent I was the energizer bunny: up from 5 or 6 am until midnight and LOVING IT. After a few weeks of 5 to 6 hours of sleep, I began to think I SHOULD be getting more sleep. I did have great fatigue in the last hour before I went to bed, but I loved getting up and working on the book the next morning. Then one day, pow, I felt like sleeping ALL the time. I began to sleep a lot; I still do. Yesterday, Saturday, I got up at 9:30 (after 12 hours of sleep) and went back to bed for a nap from 1 to 5. And I was back asleep from 9:30 last night to 6:30 this morning. I decided I really wanted to go to the 8am church service and so I pulled myself out of bed. I fell again, but was able to get myself off the floor (I needed Daniel’s help after my other falls), and I was off to church, arriving during the reading of Psalms. At 1pm, I’m still energetic.
Lent was so wonderful for me. I committed to going to our Lenten service every Wednesday and I did. I made food for the church (the first time I’ve ever done that except of course for pot luck dinners). My corn/chicken chowder was a big hit at the soup dinner that follows the Lent service. I had a nightly practice of reading Compline (last litany of the day for monks) and doing Ignatius’ Examen. It was a fine nightly ritual that I still follow (mostly). I got my life well organized during Lent, starting to use OmniFOCUS to organize and track all my tasks. I’ve fallen off some of that since Easter too. Amazing how little time one has when you sleep 12 hours instead of 6 each day! So, now I’m looking forward to sleeping EIGHT hours a day and having time for my prayers & meditations, my keep-organized rituals, my personal readings, and time with Daniel.
Easter was a grand time for us. Jennifer and family spent the night with us on Saturday and went to church with me on Easter morning. Then we were all off to Scott’s parents for the kids annual Easter egg hunt and lunch. It is so good to live near family.
On August 8, Ron and his family, and Scott’s sister’s family will all be here. All the Pollard children will be Baptized at my church and then we’ll have a week here at the beach together. I’m looking forward to another time as special as Christmas was. I never expected that at this time in my life, I’d have family so close, emotionally as well as physically. Daniel and I count our family time as one of the best blessings we have.
The spiritual retreat I led in April was truly miraculous. I am looking forward to leading many, many more retreats.
Sue, Susan, Mary & Susan, my dearest friends from seminary, will be here on Saturday. The five rockers on the back porch are ready to be well occupied for four days!!
Love to you all,
Bonnie for BanD
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