Bonnie Recovery

Just when you think you are out ....

Just when you think you are out ....  Bonnie got dragged back in for an emergency admission to Brigham and Womens Hospital again last night. 

She awoke with no fever Friday morning, after running a low fever for the last few days.  Bonnie has been relatively tired and bedridden since her anti-immune drugs were reduced a week ago, Friday.   By 5PM this Friday she was running close to 102 of fever.  We are told to go to the Emergency Room anytime Bonnie's temperature goes over 100.5. 

Can you say "this is getting old!" kids? 

From the hospital

This is new.  I got dressed in "outside" clothes and came down to the infomation center on the first floor to use a computer.  It feels good not to be room-bound.

Life in the hospital is dull. On Saturday I was pretty sick and slept most of the day.  The last two days I've been too well to enjoy my stay here. eh eh.

Good news is that they found the infection causing my fever.  It was a skin infection in my peripheral line.  That line lasted ten months; that is a record according to nurses and doctors treating me.  Now it's gone and I feel like I've lost a friend.  The PLAN is for me to stay here until  Wed when I will get a new line and be sent home where a visiting nurse will continue to give me intravenous antibiotic.

As doc Culter reminded me today: two steps forward and one step back.

My radio is almost a constant companion.  I'm begining to catch up on the war in Iraq again.  Sounds like we have a good political confrontation brewing in D.C. that could make for some interesting radio this week.  I'm wondering if they have a map of Africa in this Info Center.  I'm listening to the BBC so much, I need an African map to keep up with the players.

As you can see, life is ok when the most I have to worry about is the location of the Ivory Coast and it's people.

Love,

B for BanD

From my hospital room

Docs say I will be getting out of here tomorrow with a new peripheral line in my arm.

Life is pretty good around here.  Indeed, I DO have internet access in my room, a regularly provided service now.  You may recall after my visit last year, Daniel gave the hospital a list of ways to improve their service.  It is gratifying to see so many installed and more being installed.  Second to the wireless service in my satisfaction is the ultrasoft toilet paper.  We used to have to bring ours.  I never thought that they could fix the big dissatisfaction of having to order a day's food the previous morning.  They are now putting in a system that lets you order food and get it in about 15 minutes so that you can eat what you want on your own schedule.  We also had a problem with having so many nurses.  Now I have a few nurses, each of whom does a 12 hour shift. 

With all these improvements, I may want to spend more time here.  (Don't count on it.)

Love, B for BandD

Mystery

Now that I’m reading again, I’m indulging myself. William Barry sent me the manuscript of his new book God Wants Our Friendship last February, and I have finally become focused enough to read it. Bill is a Jesuit (indeed a senior Jesuit), a PhD, author of a dozen or so books, and the leader of a revival of spiritual direction as a practice. A couple of years ago he was kind enough to agree to be my spiritual director.

The poem with which he opens the book speaks right to my heart and reality as I hope it will to yours. The poem is called “Primary Wonder” by Denise Levertov. It can be found in Sands of the Well (New York: New Directions, 1996, p.129).

Days pass when I forget the mystery.

Problems insoluble and problems offering

their own ignored solutions

jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber

along with a host of diversions, my courtiers, wearing

their colored clothes, cap and bells.

And then

once more the quiet mystery

is present to me, the throng’s clamor

recedes: the mystery

that there is anything, anything at all,

let alone cosmos, joy, memory, everything,

rather than void: and that, O Lord,

Creator, Hallowed One, You still,

hour by hour sustain it.

From Cambridge

It's raining here in Cambridge today.  In the living room one can't but notice the clackity-clack of rain on the outside of our room air conditioner.  All this noise is a good reason to spend time in other rooms, my office for example.  Daniel has been working diligently to get my desktop computer working again.  Today may be the day I get that two-screen monster of a machine humming away in my office.  All signs point to my getting my little office ready to accept that machine which dominates the little space, making me feel like I'm driving a space ship when I use it--small space, big screens.  I love it.

Life is good in the Shurman household.  I'm still sleepy most of the time, but the doc says that is normal.  I drove out to Weston to see Bill Barry for a spiritual direction session on Monday.  That evening Kathy McAdams came over for dinner.  Rev. Kathy was interim rector at All Saints' Palo Alto before moving to Boston to be part of the ministry to the homeless known as "Common Cathedral" because of its services for homeless on the Boston Commons. 

I did something normal people do last Saturday; I went to a live concert.  Diana Krall played at the BankofAmerica Pavillion in Boston.  What a treat.  Though the sound system wasn't quite as good as ours, we got to hear a really jazzy performance that showed off her trio as well as her own singing and playing.  Our seats were right in the middle, putting us just in front of the sound board; we had the best acoustics of the outdoor with tent venue.  It was so good to be normal (even though I wore a mask the whole time), and the music was good too.

The doc says that I will be off all medications in 2-3 months, yeah.  He didn't flinch when I told him we go to NC for three weeks starting Aug 11th. 

Love to you, B for BanD

Yet another emergency room trip at the Brig

Bonnie and I have begun to feel a new normal life developing here.   

I have spent two weeks rescuing the data on the hard drives that had died in our desktop machines.  Bonnie's precious photos and research papers were on one of the dead drives and were rescued by running a "bit by bit" software utility (used by the CIA et al.)  When I traced the source of the machine failures, I ordered new power supplies and have now rebuilt our desktop machines to better suit us.  Bonnie's dual monitor desktop machine now has mirrored 400GB SATA II drives with an extra cooling fan.  It runs very cool and quietly in her office sanctuary.  I have also made a clone of her system and data drives to be stored off-site in a bank vault.

Bonnie has spent many days over the past two weeks clearing out her office.  Receipts and blood chemistry reports and packages had accumulated over the last year.   She even re-organized her filing system and how she manages our administrative lives to make it easier for me to step in when needed. 

We have even begun to BBQ again!  We had our upstairs neighbors over for dinner tonight.  They have been so sweet to us over the past year - taking care of our mail and folding laundry, praying for us and watching our comings and goings.   This is the second time we have had guests over for dinner this year. 

After a lovely visit, Bonnie lay down and she began to shudder and experience termors and small convulsions.  It was strange to lay by Bonnie and hold her as she shuddered and convulsed and then relaxed into normal breathing.  I noticed that I was not alarmed or hyper-vigilant.  I just observed what was going on with Bonnie s body and her breathing.  Bonnie asked if I could stand the shaking.  I assured her that I was at peace, but that if it got worse we should call the doctor.  We lay quietly enjoying the comfort of having each other as such good and familiar companions.  I had a sense of trust that I would know if and when there was something to be done.  It is odd to be calm in the face of a worsening condition.  We both hoped and prayed it would just go away.

Bonnie's convulsions progressed for almost two hours, until I assessed that this was putting a stress on her system.  I was concerned that her convulsions could progress to a point where they might not stop and then we would not have time to get to the ER. 

By midnight I said we really should call the doctor and ask what he would prescribe as a course of action.  He and Bonnie spoke for a while exchanging  info on Bonnie s last blood tests, blood chemistry panel and symptoms.  He suggested that she try some Tylenol and Benedryl and to see him at the DFCI clinic in morning.   And of course, if her fever went over 100 or the symptoms did not go away, she should go to the emergency room.   

By 1PM I had packed Bonnie's suitcase and was waiting for her to assent to go to the ER.  We sat up in the living room and watched a segment of 60 Minutes on how the Prescription Drug bill passed through Congress in the dead of night.  Our nation's congress also quakes with a palsy of lobbyists.   

Bonnie was now convulsing every two minutes or so and had difficulty talking when she did.  Finally, Bonnie agreed that it was time to go to the Emergency Room.