This is Daniel posting for Bonnie.
So here is the Truth about Bonnie's medical condition.
The question is whose Truth, will prove to be true?
By all outward indicators Bonnie is on the mend. She is getting quicker and funnier by the day. She is making more blood cells. Her blood tests show she is getting close to low normal on all counts, except her critical white blood counts. Even her doctors observe aloud that Bonnie looks like a person who is going into remission.
On the other hand, there is one bad indicator; Her daily blood tests show 10-19% blasts in her peripheral blood. This can be an indicator Bonnie is relapsing into Leukemia.
Do we believe her spirit and our eyes - or the microscopic medical evidence?
Is Bonnie going into remission - or relapsing?
Bonnie cried a lot yesterday, between entertaining guests.
Bonnie says she is living in the question, "Am I living or am I now beginning to really die?"
Not even her most senior doctors know which way she is headed.
Bonnie's Bone Marrow Transplant Specialist came by yesterday to check in on her health and state of mind, to see how ready she was for a transplant. Bonnie informed him of her current level of blasts in her blood now. He said this was normally a sign that the Leukemia had returned.
Bonnie asked if they would still use a Bone Marrow Transplant as the "salvage routine" as planned for the last 5 months. He said if you have the same pattern of blasts in your Bone Marrow Biopsy that would preclude the planned "mini-transplant"; The Leukemic white blood cells are stronger than the stem cells that they had planned to inject into her blood stream, and the Leukemic white blood cells would effectively chew up and spit out the baby blood cells.
Bonnie inquired about a full-on old fashioned bone marrow transplant. He asked her age. At 62 Bonnie is too old for the traditional "thermo-nuclear" transplant procedure.
He told her that they would not know until they looked at her Bone Marrow Biopsy circa Wednesday.
So Bonnie, being Bonnie, carefully re-framed her question into 3 logical cases, though the discussion revolved around one point. "What IF her biopsy were to show the same level and shape of blasts uncovered after she finished chemotherapy in 2002, given that this was interpreted as a terminal diagnosis in 2002, but later blossom into a multi-year remission?"
Basically, "Which truth do we follow: medical statistics on Leukemia, or my personal history?"
He said they just wouldn't know until they see the cells in her bone marrow.
Bonnie reports that they were both happy with the fidelity of the conversation and the effort to find their way forward together.
So now the editors of the textbook, "Oncology: An Evidence-Based Approach" are living in an Ontological Dilemma; I am reminded of Richard Pryor, when he was caught by his wife while in bed with another woman. He jumped up and wrapped the sheet around himself and shouted “Wife, are you going to believe ME, or your lying eyes?”
Bonnie and her doctors are living in the mystery of which Truth will prove truest.
Bonnie feels increasingly good. She says she feels truly blessed and assured that her future is bright.
Should we believe her sense that she is casting off the Leukemia, or the medical evidence that the Leukemia is returning?
In the midst of the dilemma, we see that our path forward is the same, no matter what; Bonnie is coming home to rest and recover and enjoy her family and friends and the Spring.
At Passover, for thousands of years, Jews around the world have been saying Dy-A-nu. We were delivered out of Egypt... that is enough = Dy-A-nu /D
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