Hello at last our friends
We are in Boston this week, seeing eye doctors and visiting
friends. We are staying with
Beanie. Thursday I spent the night with
Margi and Daniel with his friend and stereo buddy Hugh.
I apologize for being so long in posting. My brother-in-law Ben called yesterday to ask
what’s up since it has been almost a month since our last post. I started with a long story that he was able
to summarize succinctly, “oh, you’ve been busy.” We have been busy doing what I call
“simultaneously moving in and moving out.”
We finally got all the boxes that we moved into the beach house from the
Cambridge move sorted and put away. All
the pictures got hung. All the cabinet
and shelves organized. And while doing
that, all our personal clothes, files, and “stuff” got packed and taken to
storage. I’ve been pretty single focused. I would get up at 7 in the
morning and work through the day organizing, boxing, etc. etc. Our friend Alice suggested to me that I would
save energy if I’d use the wheelchair.
That worked well for me. The
wheel chair also allowed me to carry stuff from one place to another in ways I
can’t do with my marginally balanced walking.
Daniel got depressed with all that had to be done. He was not able to do much until the clutter
started to clear - (other than drive me to my frequent doctors appointments, church, my daughters home - oh and buy, carry up the groceries, and cook most of our meals and lift the boxes that were too heavy for me - you know - what I call "not much"). I too found that the
more progress we made the more energy I had for what needed to be done
next. By the last two weeks we were both
working 12+ hours a day.
Our wonderful therapeutic body worker recommended a handyman
Wes who was able to put together the Murphy bed in about half a day. Once that was done, Daniel and I could see
that we were going to be able, with Wes’s help, to get everything done by our
June 13th deadline. Our
school teacher friends, Jayne and Dick started cleaning and agreed to clean
both houses weekly through the summer.
They recommended a family that lives on Oak Island to help with moving
chores. Susan came several times to help
me work on high places I can’t reach because I’m too unsteady on a ladder. She cleared closets and organized book
shelves. Her sons Kenny, Danny, and
Casey carried our filled plastic boxes to the POD. Son Eddie and friends helped Daniel
consolidate the 16’ and 12’ POD into only the 12’ POD at the warehouse in Wilmington. Wes, Scott, and Jennifer took my stuff,
including a dresser and desk to Jen’s where I will use it this summer. We did a lot in the last month, and for the
first time in our many Oak Island moves felt we had adequate help.
I’ve decided not to go to California with Daniel this
summer. We were going to drive through
St. Louis and Texas as well as Chicago.
While my energy has been getting better, the trip seemed too daunting
for me. Daniel will fly to California
for six weeks and I will live with grandchildren. While I’ll miss seeing Midwest friends and
relatives, I am excited about being with the Pollards this summer. Abi will go from saying words to speaking
while I’m there. Zac and I will be
together every Tuesday and Thursday; he will go to summer camp MWF. I will make serious progress on the book on
MWF. Luc and I will do art projects,
dance, and go to movies. Daniel and I
will take over our beach house the first week of August; the kiddos will be
with us there.
Aug 5 is Zac’s eighth birthday. The decision I am most proud of in my life is
putting the grandchildren first in my life.
I know that attention away from work, along with the weakness of
undiagnosed leukemia, led me to lose my McKinsey job in the downturn of
2002. I would not have had the job much
longer anyway since I left in May and was diagnosed in July. Even that short time of leisure helped me
greatly to adjust to life after diagnosis and cemented my commitment to
grandchildren first. When doctors think
I’m dying, I know why I’m living. I
believe that this commitment kept me me alive over all odds over and over.
We spent Wednesday evening with our Cambridge grandson
Jackson. At four he can spell his
name. He recognizes most printed
letters, and when he doesn’t recognize a letter right away, like Q, he sings
the alphabet song until he comes to the letter, then he remembers it. He is so cute. He gave his grandpa the longest hug; I wasn’t
sure he would ever let go. It was so
wonderful to see that sight, grandpa and grandson so adoring each other. That was the highlight of my trip here.
I got a new contact lens prescription. The folks at Boston Foundation for Sight are
incredible. I have had many wonderful
docs, but none that go so far out of the normal course of medicine to take care
of men, and the hundreds of patients who come from all around the word to get
Scelerial lens that end the pain and blindness of severe dry eyes from GVHT or
because their eyelids have been burned off in an explosion in Iraq.
We saw Dr. Cutler and PA nurse Dubeau at Dana Farber. Like other doctors, they are in awe of my
ability to stay alive. We love seeing
how much they loved seeing us and celebrating that I’m alive and even
walking. My NC doctors like me and take
good care of me, but I’ve noticed a certain ownership that doctors have who
have brought a person through a life threatening experience. Cutler and Dubeau look at me in ways of joy
and appreciation that no others do.
On Monday Daniel flies to Chicago for a few days with his
Mom and sister. On Tuesday I see Dr. Colby about an
operation on my left eye that I hope to have here in August. Beanie will then take me to the airport and
it is back to Wilmington for me.
We hope that you are having a great summer. We are.
Love and peace,
Bonnie for BanD
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